Well I know it has been close to a two months since I found out that IVF did not work but I have not wanted to write about it until now.
So they were able to take out 11 eggs but only 2 fertilized. Devin was taking a test the day I went in to have the embryo put back in. Devin was suppose to take the test the Saturday before but asked to postpone because of the egg retrieval that we had done that day. I could not go to the doctors by myself because they give you a valumm after they are done so I had my mother-in-law come with me. When they called me back for my appointment they took me to the doctors office instead of an exam room which made me think something was wrong but I tried to stay positive until the doctor came in and said have you heard the bad new!!! My heart was crushed to hear those words come out of his mouth. We wanted this to work so bad and so many friends and family helped us to make it even possible and it just FAILED!! Dr Foulk told me that my eggs were not good. One of the ones that fertilized was spliting uneven and the other only split once and it should have split six times by that day. So here we are in his office and my mother-in-law and I are both bawling as the doctor is telling me that I will probably NEVER be able to have children unless I use a egg doner or adopt. I was so glad that I had to have someone with me that day I would have hated to be by myself.
I am so blessed!!! I have so so many things to be thankful for. I have an AMAZING family and I dont know what I would do without there love and support. Devin, all my sister that live here in Utah, and my parents all left work early to come and be with me that afternoon. I also have wonderful people that I am surrounded by all day at work who get me through the day. There are so many people that care about me and who have been there to help me through these really hard days. I go to work everyday with a reminder of something I don't have but I try to be positive each day. I am not perfect and am not always as positive as I should be but at least I am trying!